Aug 12, 20194 min read

Loving yourself: What a Dietitian wants you to remember

Dietician Vanessa Clarke shares with us about the guilt moms feel in association with food:

As a Dietitian I see a fair share of moms of all ages, who enter my rooms desperate to feel better about themselves. They walk in fearful that I will judge them based on their weight, body fat, lifestyle choices and self proclaimed spiral of “bad eating decisions”. Many are convinced I will be shocked by the way they eat and sit there with their hands covering their faces , shoulders hunched over terrified of being judged and shamed.

How do these moms get here? Where does this shame and guilt come from? For some it may be a result of failed fad or restrictive diets attempts, trauma or emotional losses, emotional eating , not prioritizing one’ s self, food stigmas or underlying medical conditions.

I like to remind so many of these women that they don’t have to feel this way and sometimes the hardest part of doing something about it is actually making the decision to change and being open to it. For many of my patients they say the hardest step is actually making the decision to see a Dietitian and admitting that they need to take the power back in their lives.

So here's what I want you say to those women/ moms out there who feel like one of those women entering my rooms:

Don’t let a number define you.

In 1984 body dissatisfaction was actually termed “normative discontent” because of how common it is for women to feel this way. One study showed that 69-84% of women in the US were wanting a smaller figure than their current one. Why as women do we never seem to be happy with our weight? In my practice I like to focus on goal setting that doesn't involve weight and is more based around lifestyle choices, body function and energy levels. Patients are often more amazed at how more energised they feel, how they sleeping better and feeling better than the amount of weight they lost at their follow up.

Weight is just one of the factors Dietitians assess when trying to improve patient health outcomes. Weight is not a measure of health on its own. Even as a dietitian myself my BMI is right at the upper end of the “normal” range however I love and feel good about my body . Some weight equations suggest my ideal body weight should be 58 kg even though I currently weigh 10 kg more which I am content with. I know how my body interacts with food for example I feel terribly sick after eating red meat and I can’t tolerate a high protein diet and I know I make healthier choices most of the time.

Knowing your body and understanding it is unique

A Lot of time in my practice is spent discussing the human body and its complexity , not only because it amazes me daily but because how can we love our bodies if we don’t understand them?

I often use the analogy of the human body being like a car when I teach at schools on body image and healthy eating. There are different makes of cars just like each one of our bodies are different. Some cars take petrol or diesel or need more oil and function better at different speeds. If we don't eat to fuel our bodies the right way for us or if we don't choose the right fuel for our brand of car or top with the right oil , it won't matter if we have a sparkling clean car or the latest tyres, rims or mags because the car won't move or function.. There Is wonderful documentary called Embrace on one woman's journey to self love and she says “ Your body is not an ornament, it's the vehicle to your dream” (Taryn Brumfitt)

Much of the body image research that have been done in the past has focused mainly on teenagers or college students however more research is starting to be done on postpartum mothers and middle age women who are struggling with the physiological changes and transition their bodies are undergoing. As moms we often forget that we are very different from men and our bodies grew a baby for 9 months. Our physiological demands are different and we go through many stages from pregnancy, birth, lactation and then onto pre-menopause and menopause. We have to embrace the changes our body goes through and support these life stages nutritionally. Loving and accepting your body through this is important.

Change how you talk about food?

From young we are taught about good and bad foods and we live our life linking emotions to our food choices so by choosing so called bad foods we are bad. Be mindful of rather using more encouraging words like healthier choices or healthier for our bodies to prevent emotional eating.

Raising a content nation

Lastly to the moms remember “fat thinking” breeds “ fat being”. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that links children body perceptions to that of their mothers or parents. . Negative feelings from mothers about their own bodies are transmitted to their children so be mindful way you speak about your body in front of your children and avoid using the fat fat around them

Love your body from the inside out not the other way around and celebrate what it is capable of. And how it can make you feel. Focus on fueling your body in the way it deserves and it's never too late to take steps to a healthier you.

Vanessa Clarke

Registered Dietitian

Bsc Diet (SA), pgDip