It's coming to the end of the year, which means many South African parents will be sitting down with their child's teacher to understand how the year went - and where focus needs to be made. The MomSpo team asked Carol, an experienced teacher in South Africa, to discuss how we can approach these meetings better, and if she has any valuable teacher-mom tips.
We also ask a question at the end, and would love to hear your thoughts and experience on teacher-parent interviews.
The Parent Teacher Meeting Guide
By Carol Purdon
There is nothing quite as stressful as when you need to schedule a parent teacher meeting, even for the most seasoned teacher or experienced parent. They usually happen once or twice a year to discuss your child’s learning, social development and behaviour.
Whether you know your kid is academically strong or maybe they need some extra help, it still can be stressful.
My son started school this year in Grade 0000 and even though I know exactly how he is performing academically and socially; having to sit on the parent side of his teacher’s desk was quite anxiety inducing. As a teacher, I can assure you that our nerves are also all over the place.
From someone who has sat on both sides of the table, let me help you survive your next parent teacher meeting...
1. Be Punctual
Punctuality is the number one way to start a parent teacher meeting off on the right foot. We usually have scheduled a few meeting slots around the time-slot allocated to you. If you are late or the meeting runs over the allotted time, we end up with a very long afternoon ahead of us with some very grumpy parents. A parent teacher meeting should not run longer then 10-15 minutes. If you feel that you want an extended meeting, communicate this to your child’s teacher.
2. Be Honest
Teachers want your children to be successful. Trust me. Should questions about hours of TV watching or eating habits come up. Be honest with us. Most of us are parents and I promise you, we are not judging you. We are trying to figure out all the facets of your child, and are not questioning your parenting skills. Help us understand if there are any behavioural issues at home so we can better assist each other.
3. Be Positive
I can assure that parent teacher meetings are not necessarily going to be hard-hitting news. We are proud of our learners and we want to share all the positives around your children. We want to dote about what makes our hearts happy about your child. What they are great at, and what they do that makes us smile. Every child is unique and every child has strengths. We want you to walk away happy. We want you to have so many amazing stories about your child to take home and share with family and friends. This is our number one goal.
4. Be Open Minded
Maybe your child’s teacher will make a referral for an additional therapy Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Emotional support etc. Please do understand that we would never refer your child for therapy if it were not 100% necessary. I always explain it to my parents like this: “Let’s say you have a cold, you go the GP, he sends you away with the medicine you need. But months have passed and you are still not feeling better and you now get referred to a specialist because there is a bigger issue at hand” It’s the same with therapy referrals. We have done all that we possibly can to help correct a difficulty that your child might have, but we have reached the point where we need outside support because it is a concern that we are not qualified to assist with - so, we send you to the specialist.
5. Be Calm
Parents become like lions to protect their babies, it is our natural instinct. We want to protect our family with every fiber of our beings. Tooth and nail, I get it! That being said, please do not come into a parent teacher meeting and be on the attack. Take a breath and understand that it is as hard for us to talk about the tough topics surrounding your child, as it is for you hearing it. We are human too. We do not want to fight; we want to reach a consensus to make sure your child reaches their full potential. If you feel that you are getting angry, step out of the meeting or reschedule a later meeting when you have mulled over the situation. It is never okay to shout, use profanities or get personal.
6. Be Inquisitive
Ask questions. Please ask questions! Ask for explanations of anything that you do not understand. Ask your child’s teacher for specific ways in which you can help your child at home. Maybe they are struggling with cutting or maybe they are just a super fussy eater. Teachers want to help!
7. Be Kind
Teachers like to feel valued, if you have something that you feel your child enjoys about school let us know - positive feedback is just as important as negative feedback. A simple thank you goes a long way.
8. Be Understanding
Be understanding of your child’s nerves. Parent teacher meetings can be incredibly daunting for children, too. If they are at the age of understanding the purpose of the meeting, they may become extremely nervous about what it is that we discussing. Be honest with your child but allow them to see that you and their teacher are on the same side. If you have something negative to say about the meeting, keep it between parents and guardians.
So, next time parent teacher meetings roll around: Take a breath, have that sip of coffee and know that it is not easy on either side of the table. With a little team spirit and patience we can 100% get through it together.
Question: Is there anything you wish was different about teacher-parent interviews? We would love to hear your thoughts and experience from a mom, and/or teachers perspective?
"Hi, I'm Carol! I'm a mom to a very busy 3-year-old named Atlas. I am also an experienced teacher, currently teaching Grade 0. I run an Insta blogger page "The Atlas of Us" sharing our authentic, chaotic lives and parenting advice from a teacher mom, to help you navigate the gap between home and school, parent to teacher. "
Connect with Carol on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_atlas_of_us/
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