By Ash Knox
This is something that most parents are wondering and something that I really can’t get off my mind, having a career in the digital space, and way more importantly, being a mom in this digital era.
So, why exactly are we so concerned now, fourteen years after Facebook was founded?
HUMAN TRAFFICKING.
Human trafficking is by no means a recent phenomenon in South Africa and has shown to be an emergent property of broken systems and lack of human trafficking laws. Yes, it’s something that happens all over the world, but has been highlighted a lot recently due to the serious rise in CHILD trafficking cases. This led to a lot of people shutting down their Instagram and Facebook accounts, in the fear of their children’s lives and whereabouts being exposed online.
For the majority of people, social media is a positive experience. A way to share photos, stories and communicate with family and friends all over the world. In terms of the online-parent-sphere, I have loved connecting with many people from all around the world. I love that I can document our life, share our reviews, and connect with people and brands with similar interests. But when the media recently went wild with true happenings and the internet blew up with additional fake news: parents have been drowned in worry. Myself included.
I took a break from my own social media account, I had a think about things, I spoke to like-minded social media sharing parents, and I researched the matter. This is what I have decided:
Saying no to posting pictures of your kids on your own social media platforms these days would be like saying – ‘don’t go outside.’ Don’t leave your house! Yes, in my rational state, I realised that I am actually more scared of leaving my home, and letting my children run free in a playground or next to me in the mall, than posting an image online. I am petrified in a public place, and with a toddler who has just learnt to run – I feel like I need her strapped in and attached to me at all times.
While the abuse of social media platforms by traffickers could not be ruled out as a possibility, my research seems to highlight that there are little direct correlations, and that child trafficking is more of an opportunist ‘offline’ act. For example, a child playing at the park, walking home from school, or around the shops or busy public places.
If parents have huge social media safety concerns, then I will advise you to not use social media. However, the fact that parents do not use social media does not mean that their children will be any safer.
In fact, the real child trafficking concern is children (not parents) using social media.
Children are being befriended by strangers who groom them into becoming victims. While I don’t have to worry about this right now having two children under two years of age; you might have older children while reading this. More perpetrators are luring their victims directly on social media – making this a gateway for human trafficking rings to target young people who are looking for dream jobs, fun, games, or relationships. Recently, news broke that a very young South African girl had been rescued from an international human trafficking syndicate in Malaysia, after she signed up on Facebook for a modelling competition.
I, too, was targeted online when I was just nineteen years old. Only to find out that I had engaged with someone who had images that were taken off Google (not real images), and who only had three friends (a fake account). This person wanted to meet me, and was asking many questions about me and my life. Luckily I was quick to discover that this person wasn’t who they said they were. I was too scared to leave my house for a while, and I don’t even want to imagine such fear come over my own children. But I was clearly somewhat aware of such online trolling, and I think its vital our children are very aware too. I still wonder today, who was that person, really? What were they intending to do? Did they lure others in, who weren’t as cautious as me?
If your child is not over 13 years of age, your child isn’t legally allowed to be on Facebook and Instagram – for these exact reasons. This is very important, as through my digital research, I have found that the average age of children receiving their first cellphones, is ten years old.
ONLINE & OFFLINE CHILD TRAFFICKING SAFETY TIPS
So while I don’t believe that parents avoiding social media sites is the answer to this potential threat to children’s safety, I do believe we still have to be very aware and careful. These are some tips that I thought I would share in relation to child trafficking. I don’t think anyone will and can be an expert at this, but I hope these tips refresh your need for caution:
If you scared about your content being openly and publicly accessed, you have the option to set your profile to PRIVATE on Instagram. As silly as this sounds, many people don’t know if they private or not. Facebook also allowed for only YOUR FRIENDS to view your content.
By using a hashtag, the image you share will be linked to that hashtag. So you could stay away from common hashtags. #MomBlog #FirstDayOfSchool
Caley from Ellie Love Blog highlighted that if you going to post first day of school photo’s, for example, then blur / or cover up school badges and logo’s. Don’t make it publicly known which school your child attends.
Ellie Love Blog also mentioned that when sharing your children’s party photo’s, don’t share an image of the party invite with your home address on.
I've learnt to take video’s and photo’s when out, and save them for later. When you get home / leave the place, then share them online. This way, people won’t know where you are in that exact moment.
Check who is following you on social media as soon as they start to follow you. Like I mentioned above, always look into how many ‘real friends’ they have to get an idea of real VS. fake accounts.
Don’t tag your location, especially your home or exact holiday (e.g. apartment) address.
Don’t share your children’s whereabouts when you not there. E.g. ‘Just dropped my child off at swimming school (the school you recommended a week ago to everyone) and now I am off to quickly do a shop before I fetch him.’
Don’t post photo’s of your child in the complete nude. It has been suggested, but not proven, that 50 percent of images shared on paedophile sites have been taken from parents’ social media sites. We lose full control of where our kids’ photos end up when we share them online.
A lot of playgrounds have child carers to look after your children while you eat. Don’t put your full trust in these people. While convenient, you should still keep an eye on them at ALL times and make sure they they can’t escape or leave where they are.
Educate your children about human trafficking so they can recognise the indicators if they are in such a situation. E.g. The “don’t talk to strangers” talk.
Activate your child’s GPS tracking on their smartphones if they have one. Digital kid watches are now geared for GPS tracking, too.
Teach your children not to fear an adult who is threatening them, scream and shout, and to report them to someone they trust immediately.
Take the time to listen intently to your children when they tell you they had a bad dream. There could be a reason.
Talk to your children about inappropriate incidences you hear on the news and get their perspective on the matter.
Be strict with your children and their teachers about who is picking up from school. Police have noted an alarming trend where suspects approach schools and pretend to be sent by parents to pick up children.
If you are against social media sharing of your children, then let your child’s school know. It’s amazing how many schools and institutions post images of children without their parents consent.
If your child goes missing, tell security immediately and make a huge scene. Sounds obvious, but research shows that most women go into a flat panic and start searching furiously on their own – running in circles – and wasting time.
Lastly, the biggest rule of thumb is… PAUSE BEFORE YOU POST. It can be so easy as a Mom in frustration or embarrassment or pride to share something in the heat of the moment, that you might later regret.
I would love to know your thoughts, and if you have any tips that I can add to the ones outlined above, please share?
Ash x
PS: Many parents also mentioned their fear of creating a digital footprint of their children, without their children’s ability to give permission. While this is closely linked, I would like to write about this soon.
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